You May Be a Red Neck If...

So we are driving home from school the other day, and I look into the rear view mirror to find Sofi flossing her teeth... with her hair.

And then on the weekend we were raking up the leaves in our front yard, when suddenly I realize I've lost track of Sofi. She isn't anywhere to be found. I look around a bit... and find her under the topper of our pickup, which is currently off the pickup and leaning against the house—a make-shift shelter. A make-shelter that is perfect, it turns out, for copping a squat... because I look up just in time to see her bare bum, yanking up her pants.

'Suppose I should be grateful that she at least had the decency to seek out a little privacy under the pick-up topper.