Mr. Cellophane
Parenting is a mixed bag. And being a stay-at-home parent even more so.
One of the perks, at the moment anyway, is the morning routine. I get to sleep in, mainly because Sofi has grown up enough to take care of herself in the morning (she gets up to eat breakfast with Mom and then hangs out looking at books and playing with her Leap Pad until the rest of us get up) and also because Isaac likes to sleep in (he usually wakes up between seven and eight... for now, anyway). And, my gosh, if this isn't a HUGE perk! And then we often spend a good portion of our mornings (and maybe even some of the afternoon), in our pajamas, especially right now when the weather is so cold and there is no reason to go outside.
And I get the satisfaction of knowing that I'm witnessing my children grow, and can feel that I've helped guide that to the best of my ability.
These are definitely some of the nicer things about being a stay-at-home parent.
Then there is also the constant need for attention. The sibling rivalry and battles that are already starting (much earlier than I would have expected) and that need tending to. And kids are often under foot, leaning on you, pouncing on you, hanging from you and even strapped to you. Everything takes two to four times longer than it would if you just had some time to yourself. Which has become harder to get with two kids, since the naps rarely ever sync up, if they happen at all.
But this constant presence of kid energy and its constant need for attention isn't the only constant in this mixed bag.
It turns out I'm a constant as well. A little display of affection on Sofi's part (a very little display, may I add) has made this apparent.
I've often been suspicious that Sofi takes me for granted, and one reason is her art. Sofi is quite the artist, wanting to draw on the windows and paint with finger paints and water colors frequently. And like most children her age, she is quite prolific, able to produce many works in a short amount of time. And often after she is done creating her work she will announce who it is for. I can't recall a time when she has ever said one is for me. Instead they are always for someone else who isn't there, usually Mom or one of her grandparents. And to be sincere, this is incredibly sweet on her part, because it shows that she thinking of them, and wants to show that she misses them by giving them a gift of her artwork. In my regard, I am constantly there, and therefore I am never missed, and in turn I'm more reacted to rather than thought about and become overlooked in the mix of it all.
Well tonight we encouraged her, as she was getting ready for bed, to give her brother a good night kiss. So as I waited at Isaac's bedroom door, Sofi walked around the rocking chair that Mary and Isaac were in, leaned on her tip toes, cradled Isaac's head in her arms and announced how cuddly he was and how much she loves him, and kissed him on the top of his head. And then she looked over at Mary, and as if realizing she feels the same way toward her Mom, or at least not wanting her to feel left out, she embraced her mother the best she could on her tip toes, told her how cuddly she was, and how much she loves her, and gave her a kiss as well. Finished with her warm affections toward her brother and mother, she walked back around the rocking chair and out of Isaac's bedroom toward me. And as she walked by me... she blew me a kiss... without stopping... and without even turning her head! No words of affection, no embraces, and no kiss except for one flying through the air. It was as if she was thinking "Oh yeah! That guy! I suppose I better show him so affection quick too!"
Both Mary and I had to laugh, because the contrast in affection was just so stark!
Dear Sofi, please know this: if in the end the best I can get out of fatherhood is to know that I was your constant, there isn't anything more I would want. I'm certainly not the best at being a parent all of the time, but I will certainly do my best at being there for you as much as I can. Sincerely signed, your Dad.
One of the perks, at the moment anyway, is the morning routine. I get to sleep in, mainly because Sofi has grown up enough to take care of herself in the morning (she gets up to eat breakfast with Mom and then hangs out looking at books and playing with her Leap Pad until the rest of us get up) and also because Isaac likes to sleep in (he usually wakes up between seven and eight... for now, anyway). And, my gosh, if this isn't a HUGE perk! And then we often spend a good portion of our mornings (and maybe even some of the afternoon), in our pajamas, especially right now when the weather is so cold and there is no reason to go outside.
And I get the satisfaction of knowing that I'm witnessing my children grow, and can feel that I've helped guide that to the best of my ability.
These are definitely some of the nicer things about being a stay-at-home parent.
Then there is also the constant need for attention. The sibling rivalry and battles that are already starting (much earlier than I would have expected) and that need tending to. And kids are often under foot, leaning on you, pouncing on you, hanging from you and even strapped to you. Everything takes two to four times longer than it would if you just had some time to yourself. Which has become harder to get with two kids, since the naps rarely ever sync up, if they happen at all.
But this constant presence of kid energy and its constant need for attention isn't the only constant in this mixed bag.
It turns out I'm a constant as well. A little display of affection on Sofi's part (a very little display, may I add) has made this apparent.
I've often been suspicious that Sofi takes me for granted, and one reason is her art. Sofi is quite the artist, wanting to draw on the windows and paint with finger paints and water colors frequently. And like most children her age, she is quite prolific, able to produce many works in a short amount of time. And often after she is done creating her work she will announce who it is for. I can't recall a time when she has ever said one is for me. Instead they are always for someone else who isn't there, usually Mom or one of her grandparents. And to be sincere, this is incredibly sweet on her part, because it shows that she thinking of them, and wants to show that she misses them by giving them a gift of her artwork. In my regard, I am constantly there, and therefore I am never missed, and in turn I'm more reacted to rather than thought about and become overlooked in the mix of it all.
Well tonight we encouraged her, as she was getting ready for bed, to give her brother a good night kiss. So as I waited at Isaac's bedroom door, Sofi walked around the rocking chair that Mary and Isaac were in, leaned on her tip toes, cradled Isaac's head in her arms and announced how cuddly he was and how much she loves him, and kissed him on the top of his head. And then she looked over at Mary, and as if realizing she feels the same way toward her Mom, or at least not wanting her to feel left out, she embraced her mother the best she could on her tip toes, told her how cuddly she was, and how much she loves her, and gave her a kiss as well. Finished with her warm affections toward her brother and mother, she walked back around the rocking chair and out of Isaac's bedroom toward me. And as she walked by me... she blew me a kiss... without stopping... and without even turning her head! No words of affection, no embraces, and no kiss except for one flying through the air. It was as if she was thinking "Oh yeah! That guy! I suppose I better show him so affection quick too!"
Both Mary and I had to laugh, because the contrast in affection was just so stark!
Dear Sofi, please know this: if in the end the best I can get out of fatherhood is to know that I was your constant, there isn't anything more I would want. I'm certainly not the best at being a parent all of the time, but I will certainly do my best at being there for you as much as I can. Sincerely signed, your Dad.
posted by a n d y at
10:28 PM
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