Pumpkins

We're getting ready for Halloween tomorrow!
Here are the pictures...



      

I.O.U. $8,000

There are plenty of arguments that taxpayer money shouldn't support the arts. The argument often boils down to "I find this artist/this art work offense, and therefore my tax dollars shouldn't be going to this".

I've even heard a similar argument for using tax dollars to fund education. The argument isn't that they are offended by education (thought perhaps some are), but that they have to pay ever increasing property tax. And in this part of the country that ever increasing property seems to be ever increasing because the local schools want more and more money. And the argument goes, "I don't have kids in the schools, so why should I be taxed so much to support something I am not invested in?"

All very interesting arguments. Not sure I agree with them, but if the politicians I vote for want to start using such arguments to cut funding for art or education, then let me point them to this article from USA Today.

War costs may total $2.4 trillion

And not only that, but it turns out this boils down to about $8,000 per man, woman and child currently in the United States.

So somewhere along the line, Uncle Sam is going to get this from me. Not all at once. That would be too painful, and I might actually vote for a third party. But rest assured, I'll pay my share for this war that I find offensive and that I don't want to participate in. Not only will I pay my share, but so will Sofi and Isaac. The total for our family will be $32,000.

So Mr./Ms. Congressman, next time you want to cut the budget for arts and education because not everyone should have to pay for these things, please remember how much my family and I paid for your other "governmental program". And instead of decreasing these budgets, consider diverting funds. I'd much rather see more of our money go there.

You know, oddly enough, perhaps the answer to the rising war cost is rapid growth of the population! If there were more people in the U.S. we could spread the burden of the war debt, and it wouldn't cost so much per person.

Guess I shouldn't have gotten that vasectomy after all.

Cut the (Cup) Cake

My cousin Christina is getting married this weekend, so I've been working with Sofi on manners. I've been reviewing with her, when the opportunity presents itself, what are good manners and what are bad manners. We've also been reading a several library books about manners. We'll see how the weddings goes. I'm pretty sure I'll blog about it, as it will be Sofi's first wedding where she can actually move about on her own, and it will be Isaac's first wedding period.

One of the good manners we've been talking and reading about is sharing. We got to practice this when the entire family went to the deli at our local coop (one of my favorite places to eat out because it is family friendly, not fancy (in case the manners aren't good), and healthy). Feeling generous I let Sofi pick out a frosted carrot cake cup cake for dessert. When she'd finally eaten enough of her supper to have dessert, she agreed to share the cup cake with her mother. This of course meant cutting the cup cake in half. Sofi was perfectly fine with that, and she even went and got a plastic table knife from the coop counter, came back and all by herself cut the cup cake in half. Once cut, she quickly gave Mary her half.

I must admit I was impressed that she was able to tackle this all by herself. But I must also admit I was surprised at how she went about doing it. You see, even though she did cut it in half, she cut the cup cake horizontally in half. That is to say, she basically cut the top off.

And you can guess which half she gave to her mother.

So I reviewed with her that it's good manners for the person who cut the dessert to let the other person choose which half they want. Sofi just looked at me... having already licked some of the frosting off her half.

If this is any indication, Christina's wedding should be lively and fun.

Snipped

It is amazing how quickly one's life can change. And today is the day in which I became unable to add to the world's population.

In theory anyway. Technically I'm not sterile for another 2-3 months, as sperm can still hang out for that long I guess. And then there is the uncommon but not unheard of possibility of the tubes growing back together. So try as hard as humans may, it still isn't 100% in our control.

So if for some reason we end up having a third child, it will certainly be a miracle. And I'll accept that, because if it happens, then it was truly meant to be.

As Mary has been saying since I got home, our children are now limited editions. Not that they were replaceable to begin with, and not that one is exactly like the next, but there is a certain finality to it all. One that did not come easily for Mary. She teased me for awhile when the plan was for me to get this done, but I never got around to making the appointment. But when I finally made the call and set the date, suddenly she was talking about not having it done. This surprised me, as I thought we were on the same page. For me it's about a couple of things. There's the whole population growth argument, and just being responsible for my share. And there also is the factor that I don't think I would mentally enjoy the commitment of staying at home for another 4-5 years. There are times I enjoy, but there are also times that drive me crazy, and I wouldn't mind having more adult time sooner rather than later. And Mary agrees we can't afford a third child, and she agrees she doesn't really want to go through the whole pregnancy thing again. And then there is the risk factor of having a baby as you approach 40.

But those babies, they are so darn cute, aren't they? It is hard to say "No, not even a chance."

Our clinic said Mary had to be there to sign off on the entire procedure, but I was talking with the doctor while he was doing his cutting and sewing and he was telling me that legally the clinic can't deny a vasectomy, regardless of marital status, and that I could have had the procedure done without Mary signing off. They just advise against it.

It was pretty quick. About a half hour. Most uncomfortable thing was the injection of the local anesthetic (with a needle that was at least an inch and a half long!). And it was odd to have the private part tied down with a rubber band so that it wouldn't flop over and get in the way. And to be awake for it all, and talking to the doctor through the whole thing, that was odd too.

But like I said, it was over fast. I took a peek at the operating tools while I was getting my clothes back on and saw part of those "tubes" sitting there, like short, limp sections of spaghetti. And then I just walked out. And now I'm home.

It does kind of feel like someone kicked me in the family jewels every now and then.

She's an Eel

Today was Sofi's last lesson at the YMCA for the current swimming session, and it turns out it was also her last day as a Tadpole. Janelle, her instructor, thinks she does well enough to move up to the next level, which is Eel. So that will start up in a couple of weeks. Be interesting to see what they do.

On her last day they all practiced swimming with their face in the water. Considering how Sofi starts flaying when she goes underwater, I was impressed with how well she did. They don't swim too far with their face in the water, little over a meter maybe, but I was still impressed that she was willing to do it repeatedly. She even made sure to show me when she swam back from the deep end and she was waiting for her teacher.

Older

"You're older than you've ever been
and now you're even older"
~Older, by They Might Be Giants

At one point in your life people actually counted your age by days. I remember telling people Isaac and Sofi were only two or three days old.

In a very short amount of time that changes to weeks. Counting by weeks hangs in there for a while, because so many doctors and pediatric books track development by weeks. But eventually that gets too hard to track, and your age is tracked in months. Isaac is 10 months old right now.

Me, I'm 420 months old, as of today. Not that anyone is counting that high, because eventually months become too unwieldy as well, and it all comes down to years. And for me, the years have piled up to the point now that I've actually lost track. I used to know, very firmly, and could recall without hesitation how old I was. Now, in order to tell you how old I am, I actually have to run the math. I have to subtract the previous or current year by the year I was born. The years too are starting to become a bit unwieldy to simply remember the number. All that I am able to remember is that I'm in my 30's.

So what do I want for my birthday? Not much new, same old same old, that is to say I basically want new music. But what I've decided to give myself this year is time. I've asked Loie, a friend from church, to watch the kids this morning, and I'm using that time right now to 1) blog this and 2) clean.

Ah, time and cleaning for a birthday gift. Truly, I am older.

Mary's Brain

Sofi drew this yesterday morning, before Isaac and I woke up, during the one-on-one time that she has with Mom before she goes to work. She told Mary "This is what's inside your brain."

Mary can only assume that the big black spot must be the Madrigal Dinner, as it is becoming crunch time for this big event coming up on the first weekend in November.

The Wave

We were at Come for Supper tonight, at our church, and Isaac waved for the first time. It was to Petunia, a guest at Come for Supper who thought Isaac was pretty cute and waived good-bye to him as she left. I don't think she even noticed, but the rest of our family was excited and impressed.

He is definitely not willing to do this on demand however, and it proved pretty much impossible to capture for posterity. Below is a video of our best shot, but it is hardly anything compared to how he was waving earlier.



The community supper not only hands out a warm meal, but gives away groceries as well. Tonight they were giving away carrots... bigs ones as you can see below. As Mary pointed out, how often do you eat something that is the length of your arm?

Swimming Improved

Today in swim lessons Sofi did very well. I went over with her what I expected as far as behavior before the class started, and I stayed and watched the entire time instead of going to exercise.

No spitting in the teacher's face, no jumping on top of others.

Today instead she swam (with the help of some flotation devices) on her back half the length of the pool, all by herself. Definitely a first.

And she also jumped off the diving platform on the deep end of the pool. Numerous times. The last time she even did it without holding the teacher's hand.

Grapefruit

Fed Isaac grapefruit for breakfast for the first time this morning, just to see what he thought of it.

He's like his sister, loves it.

I like grapefruit too. Used to eat an entire grapefruit for part of my breakfast. Today, sharing it three ways this time, I think I got four bites.

I should add that this grapefruit my kids like is straight up. No sugar added. Just straight pulp.

Wonder how long it will be until Isaac eats an entire grapefruit for breakfast. I think Sofi was 12 months when she ate an entire grapefruit in one sitting.

The Dark Side

For most of my life I had this memory of my mother being angry most of the time when I was a kid. I can't recall lots of incidents, except one when she was sitting next to me on the piano bench while I practiced. I took piano lessons for eight years, and amazingly never learned how to read straight through nor how to improvise, though I tried to do both at some point. Consider how long I took lessons, and the minimal outcome created, I'm sure I didn't try too hard when I sat at the piano for my requisite 30 minutes every day. So as my mother sat on the bench next to me, seeing me watch the clock and me loathing every measure of music, I'm sure her blood boiled. All I recall is a shriek, and thinking that my mom was possessed.

This was just one incident, and I can't recall any others with this detail, but for most of my life I remembered my mom as being easy to anger. So much so that in college I would speculate with friends that I was probably the way I was—shy, checking how others feel before doing anything—because I spent my childhood trying to tow the line so mom wouldn't explode.

I say that I remember her this way for most of my life because I don't remember he like this anymore. Or, to be more accurate, I still remember it like this, but I'm starting to think my memory is just plain wrong.

I told my mother how I remember her and she simply laughed. She does recall being an angry mom, but it wasn't when I was in childhood. It was when Michelle and I were teen-agers.

Why am I doubting my memory? Because I am now a parent myself. And even though I'm not sitting next to anyone on a piano bench, I'm feeling my blood boil on occasion. Many occasions actually. I've never thought of myself as an angry person, but lately I certainly seem like one.

Which is why it was very nice to do what Mary and I did this weekend.

Mary and I are having our first today. It is our first night away from both kids. All night. Thanks to the grandparents, we have an entire weekend to ourselves.

We headed out to Myre-Big Island State Park, near Albert Lea, MN, in search of fall color. The fall color report at Explore MN said it was peaking there. This may be true, but like most everywhere else the heavy rains and winds that Minnesota and Wisconsin have experienced have stripped most of the leaves from the trees, and the peak is just not that spectacular at Myre-Big, nor is it anywhere really. This photo is about as close to leafs of color that we got (and yes, it was raining this weekend, but we have the gear for that, and it was actually quite nice... after all a weekend without the kids in the rain is better than...)

What is interesting to note is our feelings as we pulled out of the drive way. Mary was sort of teary with the thought of leaving the kids all night. As for me, I was thinking about the best route towards Myre-Bigs.

On our way there we enjoyed listening to podcasts, and one of our favorites is This American Life. The particular podcast from This America Life that we listened to happened to be titled How to Talk to Kids. As usual, most of the acts were intriguing, and a couple got us talking. One in particular was the last act. It was by Dan Savage, titled Use Your Words. In a nut shell, he talks about how sometimes adults just blow up at kids. And he concluded that, in his opinion, kids need to see and hear this at times.

As you can surmise, this struck a chord with me. It was so refreshing to hear that other parents loose it too (including Alex Baldwin, as Dan Savage points out).

"They" say that parenting will change you. And it's true. But what I never thought is that it would changed even the memories of my past. It took becoming a parent for me to realize that a fundamental memory that I had of my childhood is not accurate. Sure my mom was angry. But it wasn't her I'm starting to realize. It was me. Who wouldn't get mad when a kid doesn't listen... for the umteenth time.

It's just odd to think that I'd probably still be perpetuating this memory and how it formed my character if I hadn't gone down the road of having children of my own.

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PS: Regarding Myre-Big Island State Park, we'd recommend the non-electric site 23. Very nice, in the woods, near the lake. (The photo at the top is actually a picture of it at night... kind'a. Our tent is glowing orange on the left. The mess of light is me playing around with my LED flash light while Mary took an extremely long exposure). And the park's backpack sites are accessible by canoe, which we'd like to go back and do some day... with the kids.

Tadpoles

Sofi is taking swimming lessons at the YMCA again. This is her current class. They are all Tadpoles, which is the third level at the Y. If you look closely you'll notice that it is a small class, only four total, and she is the only girl. That certainly doesn't phase her any. In fact, to be brutally honest, she is probably the most misbehaved of the bunch. Case in point, after class today I had to talk with her about two incidents: 1) spitting water in her teacher's face and 2) not looking when she jumped into the pool, and almost jumping on top of a classmate. And she doesn't listen very well to the teacher, often swimming off when she is suppose to be along the wall.

Having said this, she is also the most eager and energetic. At least it seems that way to me, but I may be biased. But as you will see in the videos below, she often starts behind the other boys, catches up and then passes them.

I've been amazed at what all these kids do at this level, most without hesitation, so I thought I'd share some of it with you here.

In the video above Sofi is swimming in the pool with a life jacket. Not really a first for her, but it is the first time at the Y swimming lessons, and the first time with a more traditional life jacket.



Here Sofi is playing her favorite pool game, Chop Chop Timber... and she is playing it in the deep end.



In this video above she is swimming on her own to her noodle (she does have a float on her back, but she isn't holding onto anyone and she is in the deep end). She then uses the noodle to swim the rest of the distance to the other end of the pool.





In this last video Sofi has to retrieve a starfish toy that the teacher has thrown while all the kids had their eyes closed.

Dancing

Sofi has started taking a dance class through the La Crosse Park and Rec. While I haven't seen the class since it is on Thursday nights and that is when I work at the Coop, Sofi does show a lot of moves at home. Some are actually from the class even!

The Apple Corer, Peeler, Slicer!

Sofi Coring Apples

Thanks to the apple trees at the cabin, and to Mary for going to pick them, we've plenty of apples! Mary's been trying to make apple sauce as much as time allows, and thankfully Sofi has become really good at helping, as the photo above and the video below attest to!

October is Good for Sprinklers

At our house we've been blessed with an underground sprinkler system. And it is still going, thanks in part to a podcast Mary heard that said one should continue to water into the fall. I've set them to go off early, around 5am. At about 7:30am it is almost done with the entire lawn, and it is doing the last section, which is the front yard.

The front yard is what Sofi sees out her bedroom window, and when she woke up and saw the sprinklers going she got all excited, put on her swim suit and asked to go outside. She hadn't even had breakfast yet!

It has been unusually nice for October, so it isn't as frigid as it sounds, but it was close, but the sun had yet to show itself over the bluff, and the water running through those sprinklers is mighty cold. It is amazing how resilient kids can be! She wanted me to join her. Isaac and I did go outside to watch, but it was cold enough just to watch Sofi jump in.

Love of Books

Sofi is getting to this very cool stage where is starting to memorize books. She'll just sit down on her own and page through books for quite some time, reciting to the best of her ability the story for that page. She does a very good job of paraphrasing, and occasionaly gets it word for word. In the video above she is "reading" Mouse Paint by Ellen Stoll Walsh. She'll occasionaly recite entire passages of Dr. Seuss out of no where, without the book. Today she was "reading" a book about Arthur getting the hiccups, and what impressed me is that the book is a library book that we picked up just yesterday, and it has only been read to her two times, and already she is able to recite the basic story line on each page.

What's That Noise?

It's 7:15pm, and I go to the computer to check out the YMCA website, to see what their hours are for child care, with the idea that maybe I'll try to work out a bit on Friday.

So I'm online, checking it out, when I hear this odd sound. It sounds soft, and sort of like bubble wrap being stepped on, but really small bubbles, not large ones. Kind of like what is being laid under the new floor that we are currently have installed. So I don't think much of it... it's probably one of the kids crawling/walking over some exposed part of the under layment for the unfinished floor.

It is proceeded by laughter. Thankfully I hear both of them laugh, so I figure they are enjoying themselves and I don't get too concerned.

I then I hear that odd sound again, followed by more laughter. And again. And again.

Now I'm suspicious.

I go into the kitchen and no one is there, so it isn't the under layment I'm hearing.

I walk towards the bathroom and what do I see? Sofi standing there with the sink stop down and full of water, a sopping wet sponge in her hand, which she is holding over Isaac's head and squeezing the water out (which is the sound I'm hearing). Isaac is sitting there in a puddle on the bathroom floor, his clothes sopping wet, loving every second of it.

Sofi Trilogy

Today's post it appears will be a trilogy featuring Sofia, as she has managed to do three interesting things today.

WET HAIR

We're all in Isaac's room, and I'm sorting through Isaac's clothes when I look up and notice that the back of Isaac's hair is all wet. So I wonder out loud "How did Isaac's hair get all wet?" To my surprise (though I really shouldn't be), Sofi replies without even looking up "I spit." "What?" I say, not believing what I'm hearing. In turn she replies by making a hacking sound at the back of her throat and brings salava bubbles to her lips, obviously deciding that a visual will clarify things better for her dad.

It goes without saying that I put her on a time out, though it felt like I was putting her on a time out for telling the truth, since I didn't actually catch her doing it. I have a feeling she felt the same, but she was still willing to apologize to Isaac when she was done with her time out.

CLASSIC SCISSOR INCIDENT

Later I was in the kitchen while Isaac was napping when I realized it was too quiet. Sofi was still awake, and it just shouldn't have been so quiet. This means two things: 1. Sofi died or 2. She's doing something she shouldn't.

So I walk to Sofi's room and look in and don't see her. But it is still too quiet and I can't think of any place else she would be, so I go into her room and sure enough, there she is sitting on the floor in the corner, looking up at me, arms behind her back, and little pieces of yarn all over her lap.

"Sofi, what's behind your back?"

"Nothing," she says, even though she pulls out her left hand voluntarily and shows me the doll it is holding. The doll has yet to become a Sinead O'connor look a like, but was on its way.

"Sofi, what's in your other hand?"

"Nothing."

"Oh, I don't think so. Give the scissors to me." At this point she pulls out this small pair of scissors that she found in Isaac's personal care kit, which are meant for cutting his nails.

LIVING WET

This last one is short, and one Mary will appreciate. Today at lunch out of no where Sofi started singing "Living Wet", which is the baptism song that Mary teaches at Sunday School, and the one Mary wrote. Sofi even added the jazz hands at the end, though the motion was more in the arms than in the fingers.