this might have to last me until she's 21....

I (Mary) had the distinct pleasure of spending this afternoon on the back porch reading. The back porch was the place to be for all of us this weekend with the temperature 40 degrees and sunny, which makes the back porch 70 degrees and sunny and....spring! It was a welcome reprieve from February weather. Sofi was out shovelling off the lawn in her spring jacket and searching under the snow in the garden for the plants we left there under the sun box last fall :-) We even had a picnic on the porch for supper last night at our children's insistence.

The book I'm reading is "Too Sexy Too Soon" about the sexualization (viewing people/bodies as objects of sexual desire rather than as people and portrayal of sex as being seperate from caring relationships) of children in our culture, how it is hurting them and what we as parents can do to protect them. I'm reading about how marketers target the child consumer through television and other forms of media and how that is linked to this sexualization (after all sex and violence sell - which is what they care about!) which results in little girls believing that their worth is dependent on how pretty/sexy/fashionable/skinny they are and little boys believing that their worth is dependent on how tough/violent/uncaring/cool they are. And how both of these beliefs have ramifications for both their self concept and relationships as adults.

It is sad and true and I see it everywhere, especially in the High School - no I take that back- I see it everywhere.

I haven't yet got to the part of the book where they talk about what we as parents can do about it, but just when I was getting really quite a dismal view of the job of raising kids in this cultural climate and thinking seriously of just FLEEING this culture, Isaac asked to go for a walk. Great idea! We had a great time and as soon as I got out I realized that THIS is what we can do to help the situation. Get our kids and ourselves outside into what is real. Real weather, real nature, real time together fostering real relationships. Real conversations about anything and everything that will help me help them deal with all the potentially damaging and degrading messages they can get.

When we returned, Sofi had gotten home from her errand with Andy and of course also then wanted to go for a walk. We did and it was great. We skipped and galloped and splashed in puddles and she talked and talked and talked and told all sorts of stories for a good half of the time until she said "that's all I know, do you have any stories?" I told her about how I used to go walking with my dad and we used to always look for "artifacts" as we walked and talked. I realize now how much that time with him meant to me as a teenager and probably to him too.

And I'm hoping that these walks will continue for years to come. Tucking her into bed tonight I thanked her for telling me stories and told her that I love to listen to all of her stories anytime. She told me that she wants to hear mine too. I told her I was glad that I'm her mommy (and meant it). She told me she was glad she was my daughter - and I thought my heart would burst.

And I wrote this down tonight because I know she is growing up FAST and that sentiment from her might just have to last me until she's 21.